Thanks for reading my blog! Please read the whole thing, though, and remember the point of my blog is to exist as a void, an empty space I can ignore for years on end. Sort of like the doctor I don’t see for years and years because I stopped going to see him. Who I am finally seeing tomorrow! Anyway, in my last entry I posted a bunch of mean things about my friends who I do business with…. my buddies Ricky, Julian, Bubbles, Corey and Trevor, …. I guess that makes me Mr. Layhey. Anyway sorry about that, sorry Neal Peart died, he was the greatest drummer alive for a long time. I will not post mean things on the internet, I’m embarrassed and ashamed, and yesterday I probably wasn’t the best version of myself that has ever woken up.
An update on some of my updates, I found my old ipad, managed to export my china blog to PDF and rescue that file from beyond apple’s walled garden. So I am in possession of my full, unpublished China blog. It is on my desktop. Like so many documents, I am afraid to read it, as my own writing always sounds hollow and amateurish when I read it out loud to myself.
Forgot to mention that there are actually two other journals that I keep now, in addition to wellness there is a SECRET journal as well that is not my blog, however it is a fictional account…. Not at all like the play I have been penning for a while… “Love’s Labours One”, which is the long lost sequel to Shakespeare’s Love’s Labors Lost and Shakespeare wrote it except no I’m lying, I wrote it, and it fixes all the problems in the original play…. first, it’s set in outer space, in the France nebula. Second, the ladies in the show are the villains and have invaded the men’s holdings while their guard was relaxed, and third, the messenger guy at the end, turns out to be the main character protagonist, who goes back and forth between the two parties over and over and resolves the conflict peaceably. So yes, I wrote two full scenes of this play before I realized I don’t know how to write female dialogue so I am looking for someone to kick this over to who can move the ball forward.
I have fully abandoned my horror style escape room game “Escape from Zellman Orbital”, never available on Early Access on Steam! It was cool almost publishing something on Steam but it was not as good as my first game, Pokemon No, which I can never release due to obvious copyright concerns. In both cases, I never finished making the game, and the parts I did get to polish started falling apart the second VRTK pushed an update and broke all my controls 😛 … Please don’t ask me to play it, I legit do not have a playable build. Just a few unplayable ones. Thanks to everyone who contributed to both projects though. The voice acting was actually one of the better parts of the game, and your contributions really shined.
If you are truly interested in seeing what’s going on in my life – check out my facebook and my instagram. Particularly my IG: @dreamsinvr … also check out my work IG it is pretty incredible, hard to understand why I still only have 600 followers :/ @ctrlvhowell
The Arcade is going super great, we have a tournament planned for our 2 year AnniVRsary, It is the Superhot VR Timed Trials, on Saturday February 1, from 3:00 PM until 9:00 PM! We are streaming live to twitch, check it out there on our Twitch Channel https://www.twitch.tv/ctrlvhowell also we will try to continue migrating some of that content to Youtube as well.
I still stream live to twitch from home. In VR. Nobody watches that either, so you might as well check it out. https://www.twitch.tv/outlier_vr
We still do not have the whole You Tube and streaming thing figured out at work. I have many of the “pieces” I need to build a youtube celebrity. But still not a complete picture, and it looks like doing youtube correctly might be a full time job. Still, for some people, it is only a part time job for extra income. A side hustle.
Update on drone flying. Have not flown drones at all in 2019. I just … did not feel like doing it. Honestly messed up a bit and bought too many toys too fast. The fact is the 5″ racing drone is fucking cool and really pushes the bar on what can be done in the air… but … other guys are taking way better pictures with both larger and smaller drones… some of the beefed up whoop-class drones are capable of doing amazing things. And the larger stuff, parrot-sized and up… well, most professional photos use these to ill effect. It might be overdue for me to talk to my friends who do this stuff professionally. If I could fly a drone and take incredible camera footage for extra income… well, why shouldn’t I?
I am a little demoralized. In November I injured my foot, rather the shoes I ran in injured my foot, because shoes are the devil! Anyway, I have not been able to run for the past … well, it’s been 12 weeks or so now! Heh. I am seeing the doctor about it tomorrow, but yes, been legit limping around for… oh … about three months, since my 6 mile run to Langosta and back. It was the “back” that did it… I felt injured while I was sitting at the bar, but, macho guy that I am, had to run the 6 miles back, because I knew that I could. What I didn’t know is that running in bad form on the wrong shoes on the worst possible surface, can lead to problems, and that problem is called plantar fasciitis, and boy do I ever have it! I have treated it with cold rolling, yoga, a night brace, compression socks, stretches, CBD oil (OK I was taking that anyway) … and I tried running on it twice. The first time was a huge mistake, I made it way, way worse, by running to the gym and back. Oops. The second time I tried running on it again…. was Monday… and while I did not exactly re-injure myself… I don’t think there was much improvement. This art to running naturalisticly without damaging my frame is still new, even though intellectually I know I’ve been running this way for… almost 12 years…. this might be the first year I actually decided to get good at it. Good enough to seriously injure myself anyway… :/
And in fact while I haven’t had a legit physical from my doctor in some time – some years at least … I did run into him a while back at the Emergency room. I pulled a muscle back in 2017 doing hot yoga, and had to go to the ER. Quite the story, probably deserves its own blog post. But yes I injured almost every muscle in my body at that yoga practice. One of them, I injured more than the others, and didn’t know until 3 days later, when I couldn’t rest, sleep, or breathe without searing pain. I met my right serratus interior muscle, and learned how to make nice with it. Mainly just adjusting my posture so I could rest properly was what healed it.
Anyway, you could find all this out on IG, but everything else is basically my pets are fine, living out their long, weird, reptile lives. The big one has just two things on his agenda in the winter: find a warm place and sleep, or, find a cold place and sleep. Depending largely on his mood. I can convince him to occasionally eat blueberries and worms, and take the occasional shit. It is not rare for me to step out of the house, glance at him sleeping under the radiator, and then not come back until 16 hours later. I have worked a holiday super shift at the arcade. It was a lunatic madhouse for night 7 of Hanukkah. I am all beat to hell, and he… he has not moved. He is still napping. It’s amazing. In fact, I could let him sleep the whole winter, it’s a natural thing, called brumation, and it’s what happens to his pals out in nature – whatever bearded dragons still survive in their native Australia. Certainly many have been cooked by the fires there. But beardies live in sandy habitats as well as forested ones, so there’s probably still a lot of beardies in Australia. Anyway, during the winter, they just sleep, and wake up hungry in March. Maybe I should just let him do that. And Stinky? He is the same leopard gecko he has been for the last 17 years. He is adorable, has a tiny brain, he moves around like a little sine wave, too dumb to survive on his own, but smart enough that he could escape if I let him out. In fact one day he did, and he snuck underneath his cage. It was dangerous, getting him out meant moving furniture, but it was no easier or worse than wrangling a larger animal, like my fraternity brother’s ball python back on college. Stanly… the problem with stanly was that he was HUGE not tiny.
However demoralized I am, I am still basically happy and content. The hurt foot did not stop me from going out dancing with the most beautiful woman I know. I had a grand time with Nicky dancing at the warehouse in Queens. Did you know that Queens is the new Brooklyn? It is. We drove in – flawlessly – and parked – perfectly! Then stumbled into the most perfect chinese restaurant, the Drunken Fish. She was dainty, and she didn’t want to eat. I had veggie sushi and seaweed, and we both drank tea, which was perfect. She is so delightful. Then waited outside in the cold to be let in, we did not get VIP or early admission, though next time maybe. This party was run by the Elements music festival people, and it was like an indoor EDM music festival. Totally lit. I considered bringing psychadelics but Nicky doesn’t go in for that – she is all natural, and only gets high doing meditation. So we were both partying vegan for the whole night. It seems like maybe drugs are better left for the young. Anyway, there was tons of cool stuff, three stages, many dance floors, cool art exhibition, lots of cool hippy indie crowd, new yorkers, dwellers of queens, brooklyn, long island, the smart party crowd, who know enough to stay out of manhattan on NYE. In fact the whole city is really one big party this day of the year, and it’s a day to be extra careful. As Jonathan Frakes put it once: “Be careful, the amateurs are out tonight”. And what drew us there, both Nicky and myself – was the silent disco. We kept those headphones on all night. It was Silent Disco for pretty much everything between 10 PM and 1 AM, then we extracted, because she had to work the next day, and I …. didn’t, for the first time in several weeks. This was the first two days I wasn’t on the schedule since the 16th of December. Quite frankly I was pretty beat to hell from working Hanukkah… which was totally Lit, but totally exhausting. I had early stage bronchitis and slowly falling into late-stage. And made it through most of the night before my cough started coming back. I was wearing shoes that were probably not great for dancing in. Danced anyway, the pain was mild compared to what I’m used to out for a run, and honestly as the only guy with a bald spot at this party, I felt I needed to bring out my A game on the dance floor, being surrounded by younger and better dancers. And young DJ’s playing new stuff that seems bizarre to be called music. Really, I don’t want much from a DJ, just play lots of New Order or something similar, early techo or EDM stuff I know and love, but that’s never what happens. You get a blast of “What the hell was that” in your ears and your mind shatters and is never the same. Well, we had a great time, I stole three kisses from her that night, and then things went really well for about 3 days then she suddenly cooled off, same thing she always does, just like the last … is it two or three times now I have been chasing Nicky around ? I can’t remember. Six years, it’s been six years. So yes I can no longer chase this lovely woman around, it’s exhausting, her focus is on her business and her kid, mine needs to be on my business and my… pet lizards. Still this was a fun little tryst and I do not blame Nicky or feel angry at her in any way. But I am disappointed in myself by posting this drivel here in public, like the fool I was 15 years ago when Myspace was still a thing.